What to Say in Your First Message on Dating Apps (With Real Examples)
by admin 
The first message can make or break a match. Say too little and you get ignored. Say too much and it feels awkward. So what should you actually say?
Good news: you don’t need a perfect line. You just need a message that feels genuine, shows interest, and makes it easy for the other person to reply. This guide breaks it down—with examples you can use right away.
The Golden Rule of First Messages
Your first message should do one or more of these:
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Show you read their profile
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Ask a simple question
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Spark curiosity or a smile
If it does none of these, it’s likely to be ignored.
1. Comment on Something in Their Profile
This is the easiest and most effective approach.
Examples:
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“I noticed you love cooking—what’s your favorite dish to make?”
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“That photo with the dog is adorable. Is he yours?”
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“You mentioned loving road trips. What’s been your favorite one so far?”
Why it works: It’s personal and shows effort.
2. Ask a Light, Fun Question
Questions make replying easy and natural.
Examples:
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“Quick question: coffee dates or dinner dates?”
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“If you had a free weekend right now, how would you spend it?”
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“Beach, city, or mountains?”
Keep it simple. Save deep questions for later.
3. Use a Specific Compliment
Generic compliments get lost. Specific ones stand out.
Instead of:
“You’re beautiful”
Try:
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“You have a really warm smile in your photos.”
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“I like how confident your profile feels.”
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“Your style in that third photo is 🔥”
This feels genuine, not copied.
4. Start with a Playful Opener
A little humor can break the ice instantly.
Examples:
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“Important question: pineapple on pizza—yes or no?”
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“I feel like there’s a story behind that last photo 😄”
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“Be honest—are you more of a morning person or a night owl?”
Keep it friendly and low-pressure.
5. Combine a Comment + a Question (Best Option)
This is one of the strongest formats.
Examples:
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“That travel photo is amazing—where was it taken?”
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“You seem really into fitness. Do you prefer the gym or outdoor workouts?”
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“I like your taste in music. What song are you currently obsessed with?”
It shows interest and keeps the conversation moving.
6. What NOT to Say in Your First Message
Avoid messages that are:
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Too generic
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Too sexual
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Too intense
Examples to avoid:
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“Hey”
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“Hi sexy”
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“You’re my future wife”
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“Why haven’t you replied yet?”
These often turn people off immediately.
7. Keep It Short and Natural
Your first message should be:
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1–3 sentences
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Easy to read
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Easy to reply to
You’re opening a conversation—not giving a speech.
8. If You Don’t Get a Reply
It happens. Don’t overthink it.
If you follow up, do it once and keep it light:
Example:
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“Hey 🙂 Just checking in—how’s your week going?”
No response after that? Move on confidently.
Final Thoughts
The best first messages feel human, not scripted.
Be curious. Be respectful. Be yourself.
When you make it easy for someone to reply, you massively increase your chances of getting a response.
Confidence + kindness = a great first message 💬✨
