First-Text Message Tips: Say This, Not That
First impressions matter — especially when it comes to texting someone for the first time. Whether you’re reaching out to a new friend, potential date, or business contact, the words you choose can set the tone for your future relationship. A strong first message can spark interest, while a poorly crafted one can kill the vibe before it even starts.
Here’s your guide to getting that first text just right — with real examples of what to say and what to avoid.
1. Be Specific, Not Generic
❌ Don’t Say:
“Hey” or “Hi there”
✅ Say:
“Hey [Name], I really liked what you said about [topic] earlier. Would love to hear more!”
Why:
Generic greetings feel lazy and impersonal. A specific mention of something they said, did, or posted shows you’re paying attention and creates instant connection.
2. Be Friendly, Not Flirty (If It’s Not That Kind of Text)
❌ Don’t Say:
“Hey gorgeous 😏 What are you up to tonight?”
✅ Say:
“Hi! It was great meeting you at [event]. I’d love to grab coffee sometime and continue the conversation.”
Why:
Overly flirty messages too early can feel uncomfortable, especially in professional or casual settings. Keep it respectful and context-appropriate.
3. Be Clear, Not Vague
❌ Don’t Say:
“Wanna hang sometime?”
✅ Say:
“I was thinking of checking out that new art exhibit this weekend. Want to come along?”
Why:
Vague plans are hard to respond to. A clear invitation with a specific time, place, or activity makes it easier for the other person to say yes — or suggest an alternative.
4. Show Interest, Not Neediness
❌ Don’t Say:
“Why haven’t you responded yet?” or “Did I do something wrong?”
✅ Say:
(If following up) “Hey! Just wanted to check in on my last message in case it got buried. Hope you’re doing well!”
Why:
Putting pressure on someone to reply can come off as needy or insecure. A light follow-up shows you’re thoughtful, not pushy.
5. Be Natural, Not Scripted
❌ Don’t Say:
“It is with great pleasure I initiate this text correspondence.”
✅ Say:
“Hey! Thought I’d reach out — it’s [Your Name] from [where you met]. Hope your week’s going well.”
Why:
Trying too hard to sound impressive can come off as stiff or awkward. Texting is meant to feel like a conversation, not a cover letter.
Bonus Tip: Match Their Energy
Pay attention to the tone, pace, and length of their responses. If they’re keeping it short and simple, mirror that. If they’re chatty and expressive, feel free to lean into that too. It shows social awareness and emotional intelligence.
Final Thoughts
First texts don’t need to be perfect — they just need to be thoughtful. By keeping your message personal, respectful, and clear, you increase your chances of a positive response and lay the groundwork for a great conversation.
So the next time you’re about to send that all-important first text, pause and ask yourself: Does this sound like something I’d want to receive? If the answer is yes — send away.
