Conversation Starters for Your First Online Chat
Starting a conversation online—whether it’s on a dating app, a networking platform, or a social media site—can feel awkward. You want to make a good impression, but you also don’t want to come across as overly formal, robotic, or too forward. The key to a great first chat is to be authentic, show curiosity, and create space for the other person to respond comfortably.
Here are some tried-and-true conversation starters that can help break the ice and lead to a more natural, engaging exchange.
1. Comment on Something in Their Profile
Instead of jumping in with a generic “Hey,” mention something specific from their profile. This shows you’ve taken the time to read it and are genuinely interested.
Examples:
- “I saw you love hiking—what’s the best trail you’ve ever done?”
- “Your photography is amazing! Do you shoot professionally or as a hobby?”
Why it works: It makes your message personal and opens the door to a topic they already enjoy.
2. Ask a Fun “Would You Rather” Question
Lighthearted, playful questions can make for great openers because they invite opinion without putting too much pressure on the other person.
Examples:
- “Would you rather live by the beach or in the mountains forever?”
- “Would you rather have unlimited coffee or unlimited vacation days?”
Why it works: It creates a low-stakes opportunity to share preferences and personality.
3. Use Humor (Carefully)
A witty opener or a clever pun can grab attention, as long as it aligns with the tone of the platform and the person’s vibe.
Examples:
- “I’m currently taking applications for a trivia partner—are you up for the challenge?”
- “Let’s skip the awkward small talk and jump straight to our favorite pizza toppings. Go!”
Why it works: Humor disarms awkwardness and adds a light, approachable tone.
4. Ask for Recommendations
People love to share their favorites. Asking for advice or suggestions makes the other person feel helpful and valued.
Examples:
- “I just moved to your city—any good local coffee shops I should try?”
- “Looking for a good book or movie—what’s something you’ve loved recently?”
Why it works: It’s a genuine way to ask for input and can lead to a shared interest.
5. Make a Friendly Observation
Sometimes, a casual observation can spark a conversation naturally, especially if the person has a unique username or interesting photo.
Examples:
- “Your dog looks like a total goofball—in the best way. What’s their name?”
- “Is that a Halloween costume in your profile picture or your everyday style? Either way, it’s awesome.”
Why it works: It shows attention to detail and invites them to share a story.
6. Mention a Shared Interest
If you’re on a platform that lists interests or mutual hobbies, that’s your cue to dive in.
Examples:
- “I see you’re into jazz too—got a favorite album or artist?”
- “You play guitar? What kind of music do you like to jam to?”
Why it works: Shared passions make it easier to build rapport quickly.
7. Ask an Open-Ended Question
Avoid yes-or-no questions in your first message. Instead, ask something that invites a fuller response.
Examples:
- “What’s something you’ve been really into lately?”
- “If you could plan your perfect weekend, what would it look like?”
Why it works: It sparks conversation and gives the other person flexibility in how they respond.
Final Tips
- Keep it respectful and relaxed. Avoid coming on too strong or asking deeply personal questions right away.
- Don’t overthink your first message. You’re not writing a novel—just starting a dialogue.
- Be responsive. If they reply, keep the energy going by responding thoughtfully.
Conclusion
The first message doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to show interest, sincerity, and a willingness to connect. By using thoughtful, open-ended conversation starters, you increase your chances of creating a meaningful exchange that goes beyond surface-level chat.
So next time you’re staring at that blinking cursor, try one of these starters—and let the conversation flow!
